don’t use the word pig

it’s too cute

wilbur was a pig

—he was terrific, radiant, and humble

babe was good

piglet, kind

avoid the word pork

unless talking about food

served with savory sides

—like apple sauce or sweet potatoes

remember, always cook it properly

never eat it raw or bloody

ham is for sandwiches

or radios

you can write about being hamstrung

but that is more about being cut down

which swine will often resort to

in their usual ham-fisted way

at which time the rest of the swine

will want to call it a bad apple

but we all know what that really means

and when the barrel makes excuses

for the rot it houses it’s time

to throw the whole thing out.