SHANNON – Female. Late 30’s.

JOHN – Male. Mid-late 30’s.

O.B. – Obstetrician. Female. At least mid-30’s.

1.

JOHN

Ten shots.

O.B.

Yes.

SHANNON

Everyday.

JOHN

For ten days?

O.B.

Possibly more. Depends. These are subcutaneous.

Just under the skin like. This.

(O.B. pinches her own belly.)

See. We all got a little extra. Just pinch and...

(With her free hand, points like a gun at the pinched skin.)

easy. Not like the hormone shots, which go in your-

JOHN

But... Seems like a lot.

O.B.

It’s standard.

SHANNON

It’s fine.

JOHN

...?

SHANNON

And that’s how it works.

O.B.

To produce the mature eggs, yes. The eggs are then retrieved and...fertilized.

SHANNON

And, that’s when they do the...

O.B.

So, when they’re retrieving your eggs, you’ll provide the sperm sample.

JOHN

Like...just...in a cup?

O.B.

Preferably. You’ll go to the clinic with her, but you’ll...

JOHN

Right.

O.B.

I understand it’s pretty nice. Private. Never been, so...

SHANNON

Sounds great.

JOHN

And what? Then I just...

O.B.

Pretty much. They used to have videos and things to...

set the mood. Now, guys just use their phones.

Pretty common these days, I guess.

JOHN

...

SHANNON

And once he’s...provided a sample. then...

O.B.

Then. We implant the embryos. Hope for the best. It’s a lot to think about, I know. And, it can be a bumpy road. So... Best to stay grounded. Most important. Take care of each other.

2.

(JOHN sitting alone, watching... “something” on his phone. Pause. He unzips. Still watching. His hand finds its way down his pants. Long Pause.)

(SHANNON ENTERS. John quickly gets off his phone before she can see. He zips and stands as SHANNON struggles to push a very large, very heavy cardboard box through the door, into the room.)

JOHN

The hell is that?

SHANNON

(struggling)

Can you help me?

JOHN

What is that?

SHANNON

(struggling)

It’s...err...a...crib.

JOHN

A crib.

SHANNON

(stopping)

Can you help me? What were you doing?

JOHN

Wha...nothing...I...

SHANNON

Were you just?

JOHN

What? No.

SHANNON

Oh, my God. Don’t, waste it. You trying to sabotage?

JOHN

It’s not /sabotage.

SHANNON

/What if you...run out?

JOHN

That’s not how it works. Not like I only have so many bullets in the gun. Why’d you get a crib?

SHANNON

Wha’d’ya mean why’d you get a crib.

JOHN

Isn’t that a little. cart before the horse?

SHANNON

We’re gonna need a crib. ...Eventually.

JOHN

Eventually, sure. But. what happened to staying grounded...

SHANNON

I’m totally grounded.

JOHN

Besides.../where the hell are we gonna put it?

SHANNON

(excited, overlapping JOHN)

/So where should we put it?

3.

(JOHN and SHANNON: SHANNON with her pants pulled down, leaning sideways, her butt to JOHN; JOHN holding a syringe, eyeing the target.)

SHANNON

In my ass.

JOHN

No. I know-

SHANNON

Not like you haven’t seen it before.

JOHN

Yeah, but-

SHANNON

You said you liked my ass.

JOHN

Not like this.

SHANNON

Figured you’d be into this.

JOHN

Why the hell would I be into this?

SHANNON

     You know...I don’t know.

JOHN

No.

SHANNON

Look. It’s just a needle.

JOHN

Yeah. I hate needles.

SHANNON

You’re not the one getting it.

JOHN

I know.

SHANNON

It’s like a flu shot.

JOHN

Yeah, but.

SHANNON

But in my ass.

JOHN

I know. I...fine...

Just...gimme a...hold still...

(He places one hand on her ass. He holds up the syringe, brings his arm back in a stabbing position, ready to strike.)

SHANNON

Woah!

JOHN

What?

SHANNON

Not like that.

JOHN

Like what.

SHANNON

Take it easy, Norman Bates.

JOHN

I’m not.

SHANNON

You hold it like a pencil.

JOHN

Why a pencil?

SHANNON

This isn’t a slasher film.

JOHN

...-

SHANNON

Oh, Jesus Christ, never mind. Gimme it.

(She takes the syringe.)

What? If you’re not gonna help. Go.

(She’s about to inject, but...)

SHANNON

What?

JOHN

Nothing.

(JOHN EXITS. Pause. SHANNON injects.)

4.

(SHANNON sitting alone. She holds up a pregnancy test. Reads it. Wipes her eyes. ENTER JOHN. He embraces her. She begins to cry.)

5.

O.B.

Sometimes. It’s not the end of the world. I know it seems-

SHANNON

So what now?

JOHN

Maybe we, stop?

SHANNON

No.

JOHN

Or, something /else...

SHANNON

/No.

O.B.

I’ll give you two a minute.

6.

(SHANNON folding clothes. ENTER JOHN.)

JOHN

You ready to go? What are you doing? Thought we’re meeting Dan and Liz. It’s been forever. Wha’d’you forget?  

(into the bag, curious, playful)

Seriously, wha’dya got there?

SHANNON

Nothing, I... Baby clothes.

JOHN

...

SHANNON

See. that. I knew. I didn’t...

JOHN

What? I didn’t say anything...

SHANNON

Didn’t have to. You... I didn’t want you saying anything, so... They were just. there. I wasn’t planning. I. look...

(fishing in the bag, pulls out a onesie)

Cute right? And I. Oh. And they had...

(pulling out more baby clothes)

JOHN

Look. I know you get excited. But...baby clothes...? I’m. sure whatever you got is fine. And that’s fine. But like the crib. Just don’t know why you’re getting this now.

Like you’re getting your hopes up. I don’t want you to...

SHANNON

Why do you say that?

JOHN

...get your hopes up. What.

SHANNON

That. Every time.

JOHN

Wha’d I say?

SHANNON

Get my hopes up.

JOHN

You are. You’re. buying clothes.

SHANNON

Baby clothes. ‘Cause we’re having a baby.

JOHN

Trying. Yes.

SHANNON

Yes. Trying. least I’m trying...

JOHN

If it works this/ time.

SHANNON

/Why wouldn’t it work?

JOHN

Cos it doesn’t always work now, does it...

SHANNON

You always do this.

JOHN

...obviously.

SHANNON

Never think things’ll work out.

JOHN

I’m just repeating what they said...

SHANNON

Why can’t you... Everything’s gotta be a problem with you.

JOHN

...weren’t you listening. 

SHANNON

Every time. Just come out and say you don’t want it.

JOHN

...

SHANNON

Then... What the hell’ve we been doing? Me. I’ve been. and you’re just... I mean. what the fuck?

JOHN

Look...

SHANNON

What the fuck...

You’re just saying this now? Why didn’t you say something...the first time? The. second time? Fifth? How many times have I...what about-

JOHN

I think... we should just. take a breath. take a step back.

SHANNON

Hell’s that supposed to mean.

JOHN

I feel we forgot. Why we’re doing this.

SHANNON

We’re trying to get pregnant. We’re trying. Doing this... to start a family, John. That’s why we’re doing this.

JOHN

I mean you and me. This is taking over everything and... we never see our friends anymore. don’t call... we’re...forgetting... forgotten. about, us.

SHANNON

What are you talking about? This whole thing’s for us. Been trying. For us. Why can’t you get that?

JOHN

I don’t think you’re seeing what I’m seeing.

SHANNON

No. I’m not. And I don’t understand what you’re saying.

JOHN

I don’t know how else to say it.

SHANNON

I don’t even know what to say you. Like you’re waiting for something to go wrong. Fine. You don’t want ‘em?

(She throws clothes at JOHN.)

You go fucking return ‘em.

(SHANNON EXITS.)

END OF PLAY