MIKE, 19

RUDY, 17

DAD

(MIKE stands before us.)

MIKE

I bent down to tie his shoelace, and I was his brother.

I ran a comb through his hair, and I was his father.

I buttoned the top of his pajamas, and I was suddenly his wife. Esther.   Essie, he called her. He called my mother Essie. Now, he called me:  Essie.

 That was the moment that stung me the most. It took me back.  Back to before this awful business started. Back to when I was just his son.   And those of you who have been in my shoes know.  . . It is awful, not knowing who you are to someone or, worse yet, who you might become: brother, mother, wife, stranger. Stranger—that’s the latest one.  And, on second thought, maybe that's the one that stings the most. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

(RUDY enters to sit by MIKE, who moves into the scene to

continue packing his suitcase.)

 I was home from college on holiday break. It was sophomore year and everything was looking good. I had unpacked the freshmen-15, and I was finally getting the classes that I actually wanted to take. My brother was watching me pack, as he usually did. Not helping-- just watching as he usually did. And then—just like that--he says--

RUDY

You can’t go back!

MIKE

(To us)  I’m  looking at him--waiting for the punchline that never comes.

RUDY

You can’t just desert me!

MIKE

(Mockingly rubbing his head) Aww, do you miss your big bro?

(RUDY cuts away.)

RUDY

I mean it! You can’t just leave me here with him. It's not. . .fair.

MIKE

With who?

(Beat.)

I’m just going back to college, not a foreign country.

RUDY

Yeah, well, go to another college. Go to the college here.

MIKE

 (Laughs)  Yeah, I’ll just transfer my scholarship to the community college and forget the UC.

RUDY

 You don’t know how bad it's gotten.

MIKE

 I’ll be back in like four months.

RUDY

And then? 

(Beat.)

MIKE

 Look, I know it’s tough.

RUDY

No, you don't. You don't know. You haven't been here.

MIKE

 I’ve been home for a month.

RUDY

 No, you haven’t. You’ve been out with your friends. Every night—you’ve been gone!  You don’t know how bad it’s gotten.  You haven’t seen it.

MIKE

 I saw it. I see it.

RUDY

No.  You see what you want to see. Don’t leave me here alone.

MIKE

Don’t be the martyr.  You’re not alone. Mom’s here. Mom’s here with you and I will be here the whole summer.

RUDY

That’s just it: Mom’s not here.

MIKE

She’s just visiting Aunt Nan in Phoenix. She’ll be back this week, and everything will be okay.

RUDY

 What if Mom’s had enough?

MIKE

 Enough what?

RUDY

What if Mom and me—both of us—have had enough.

MIKE

Mom’s mom.  She’s strong. She’s. . .Mom.

RUDY

 It’s been hard on her.

MIKE

 That’s why she was visiting Aunt Nan.  Now, I’m going and Mom will come back from her trip to Phoenix and everything will be okay. Okay?

RUDY

 What if she was just waiting for you to come back here?

MIKE

What do you mean?

RUDY

 What if she didn’t really go to Phoenix?

MIKE

 Aunt Nan lives in Phoenix.

RUDY

 Then how come she had a plane ticket to Philadelphia?

(Beat. MIKE stops packing.)

MIKE

All right—suppose she just needed a break.  You know what a handful he can be.

RUDY

 Yeah, but you don’t.  Last month, we tried to take him to the movies. Just a normal night out. Like we used to have: when we were a family.  As soon as the lights go down, he starts freaking out.  We can’t calm him down. We can’t get him to sit in his seat.  We try and try.  But the more I try to sit him down, the more freaked out he becomes.  Screaming and cursing and struggling.  Everybody starts complaining—they’re angry--at us! I try to tell them how he is.  Two ushers came.  We finally had to just carry Dad out—screaming all the way. We haven’t tried to go anywhere since.  We can’t. We aren’t a family. We can’t even do one normal, family thing anymore. 

(Dad enters in his robe and pajamas, one slipper, disheveled.)

MIKE

Ssh. Ssssh now.

RUDY

 It doesn’t matter.

MIKE

How you doing, Pops? You need something?

DAD

 I was looking for my. . .

MIKE

For what?

RUDY

(Challenging) For what, Dad?

DAD

Well, I know I’m gonna be in trouble,  if I don’t find it.

MIKE

Well, me and Rudy will help you find it.

RUDY

(Mocking) Oh, yeah, let us help.

DAD

I do need to find it. Ha! Somebody must’ve gone and took it.      

MIKE

We’ll find it, Pops.

DAD

 I’ve looked all over.  I’m gonna be in lots of trouble.

MIKE

Nah, don’t worry.  We’ll find it, Pops.

DAD

Lots and lots and lots and lots of  trouble.

MIKE

 What is it, Pops? 

DAD

Yes, it!

MIKE

I mean what are we looking for?

DAD

I’ve been looking and looking!

MIKE

 But what are we trying to find? What did you lose?

DAD

No, No, I didn’t lose it.  Somebody took it. Somebody come in here and took it.

MIKE

 Well, what does it look like?

RUDY

You might as well just forget it.

DAD

What does it. . .?

MIKE

Yeah, this thing  you’re looking for—what does it.  . .?

DAD

Well,  you know. . .it’s. . .it’s. . .yeah, that’s what is.

MIKE

(Holding his hands apart)  Is it—what—like this size? 

DAD

No, that’s not right.  No, it’s gone.

MIKE

Yeah, but, what does it look like, Pops?

RUDY

You’re just gonna make him worse.

DAD

 I don’t know. I can’t find it!

MIKE

 I mean, about how. . .(gestures with his hands). Well, what color is it?

DAD

 (Suddenly agitated) He took it—I bet!  It was right here and then he took it!

MIKE

 Who?

RUDY

I told you.

DAD

 Yeah, he did. Her! Her!

MIKE

Who-- Mom?

DAD

 I told her not to let him.  She didn’t listen. No, she never listens, and. . .now it’s, it’s. . .

(DAD clenches his fists in a fit of exasperation.)

RUDY

 See—this is what I mean. He does this ten times a day.  He doesn’t even know what he--

DAD

 (Pointing at Rudy) NO! He had no business!  No business taking it!  And it was right here!  It was!—

RUDY

 All right, just calm down, Dad.

DAD

(Advancing) No!  I know he--! I know it--!

RUDY

 BACK IT DOWN!

MIKE

 Don’t yell at him like that.

RUDY

Me?!  He’s the one who—

DAD

 I told you!  I told him!

RUDY

Just. . .stop! Ok?

MIKE

Hey, Pop.  Hey, Pop!  Knock knock. Pop!  I said: Knock knock!

(Dad stares.)

Knock knock.

DAD

 Well, who’s there?

MIKE

 Orange! (Beat.) Pop , say “Orange who?”

DAD

Orange who?

MIKE

Orange you gonna let me in.

(They laugh. Not Rudy though.)

MIKE

 Knock Knock!  (Whispers) Say, “who’s there?”

DAD

Who’s there?

MIKE

Ana. Say--

DAD

Ana who?

MIKE

Ana body gonna let me in.

(They guffaw.)

RUDY

 Knock Knock.

MIKE

Oh, Rudy wants to play now.

RUDY

 Ask me.

MIKE & DAD

Who’s there?

RUDY

Wood.

MIKE

 Wood? Wood who?

RUDY

 Would you stop with all the fucking annoying knocking?

(RUDY goes.)

MIKE

 That was the first time I saw Pop so. .  .agitated. Rudy too, I guess. It  got worse. In the middle of the night, he took a walk through the neighborhood, trying all the doors. Wearing only his pajamas. Well, at least some of them.  Cops brought him back.

DAD

 I couldn’t find it!

MIKE

 I know, Pops.

DAD

I tried. I really did! I looked hard.

MIKE

 I know, Pops. We’ll look in the morning. Why don’t we just go to bed now.

DAD

 Do you know? Do you?

MIKE

Know what, Pops?

DAD

Where she went?

(He leads Dad off and returns. Rudy is sitting on the sofa.)

RUDY

She’s gone, you know.  She’s not coming back.

MIKE

Don’t say that.

RUDY

 She took all her clothes. All of them.  Go look.

MIKE

 She took vows. For better for worse for richer for poorer in health and in. . .  She has to abide by them.

RUDY

 Maybe the worse got a lot worser than even she expected.

MIKE

He took care of us all these years. She’ll take care of him.

RUDY

 There was a message. This man’ s voice. On her cell phone. It was a 215 area code.  I  Googled it.  215—that’s Philadelphia.

MIKE

So what?

RUDY

 He called her “baby.” “Baby.”

(Beat. MIKE  takes out his phone and dials a number.)

 Disconnected.  She disconnected.

(MIKE listens, then puts down the phone. Beat.)

RUDY

So you’ll stay. . .?

MIKE

 (Stunned)  I don’t know how I can. . .I mean I have all these classes.

(RUDY begins to cry.)

Maybe I. . .Maybe I can take a semester and just figure this out.

(RUDY nods and wipes his eyes.)

 Just till I can talk to Mom and figure this out.

(MIKE steps forward to speak to us.)

That was almost two years ago. And, yeah, I’m still here.  One of my profs called—from university—to check up on me.  Yeah. I guess he was kind of my. . . mentor, you know. So I told him the situation . . .and. . .well, he understood. He said, “I guess I have to forgive you, then-- for pulling this disappearing act.” Yeah. . . But this semester I’m going to be taking a class at the community college. If I can manage it. Mom. . .she never. . .yeah. And Rudy. . .he finally. .

(RUDY goes.)

MIKE

Yeah.  So, it’s been just Pops and me. All that’s left of our family. And most days, Pops, well. . .

(DAD enters in an almost catatonic state.)

You okay, Pops?

(DAD just stares at him.)

What you been up to?

(Still staring.)

You finish your lunch?

(To us) Yeah. . .Most days, it’s just me and the silence.

(DAD sits staring blankly.)

I didn’t know how to handle this at first. I couldn’t wrap my head around this. . .disease.   One day the gesture you knew so well, gone. The voice you responded to, gone. The twinkle in his eye you recognized, gone. The jokes. All  gone. This was the man who taught me how to swing a bat, who took me on his back, who taught me how to drive. . .You watch the man you knew just disappear right in front of you. And you find yourself longing for some gesture—some corny joke--something—just to know there’s somebody still there. Somebody who still recognizes you . Even if you’re just. . . the stranger.

(MIKE sits with him. DAD looks at him.)

But the more we sat together in the quiet, the more I came to realize: Maybe this is the reward, not the awful business you thought it was. To know that you are everything and everyone to someone:  Brother. Father. Wife.  Stranger. That you matter as a stranger, even when you stop mattering as a son anymore.  Without words.  A stranger who ties his shoe and combs his hair. . .and sometimes—just sometimes—can still make him smile. 

(MIKE combs his hair.)

Hey, Pops. Knock knock.

(Silence.)

Knock knock, Pops.  Say “who’s there?, Pop.  Who’s there?  Who’s there?

(DAD studies him and smiles. MIKE smiles. They sit together.)

END