Cast of Characters

Melanie Axel:                         A mother. Forties or fifties.

Jeff Axel:                                 A father. Forties or fifties.

Sandra:                                     A barber. Any age.

Scene

A quiet room.

Time

The present.

JEFF

(Standing next to wife.) Where is she? (Looks at watch.) It’s after four.

MELANIE

She’ll be here. Why didn’t you let me make the appointment?

JEFF

I wanted a barber, not a stylist. You would’ve gotten a stylist.

MELANIE

I talked with Tony. He said either would be fine.

JEFF

He should’ve gotten his hair cut weeks ago. Why is everything always last minute?

MELANIE

When she arrives, I want to tell her what Tony wants. That way we won’t waste any time. People are coming in two hours, but you know my parents. They’ll be early.

JEFF

Would you stop saying that?

MELANIE

What?

JEFF

‘I talked with Tony.’ How do you know what he wants?

MELANIE

You should talk with him. If there’s ever a moment to talk, it’s now.

JEFF

Stop saying that!

MELANIE

I can’t help it. That’s how I feel. (Looks at watch.) Maybe she’s having trouble parking.

JEFF

I want him to look proper. Long hair says he doesn’t care how he looks.

MELANIE

How can you say that? He’s had it long for years.

JEFF

My nephew got married in shorts and a t-shirt. He had tattoos everywhere. It was a disgrace.

MELANIE

I thought he looked fine.

JEFF

My brother was furious. Tattoos at a wedding! What was my nephew thinking?

MELANIE

This isn’t the time to be critical. This is a special day.

JEFF

I hate it long. It’s all part of the same look…the motorcycle, the shabby friends, the loose lifestyle.

MELANIE

You always wanted him to be someone he wasn’t. And now you want to control his hair? This is his day! Leave him alone, for once!

JEFF

It’s not just his day. It’s our day too.

MELANIE

It’s not our day.

JEFF

What’s wrong with a crew cut? It’s dignified and serious.

MELANIE

He does not want a crew cut!

JEFF

How do you know that?

MELANIE

He’s my son! I know!

                (Door opens and barber enters with her bag.)

BARBER

Mr. and Mrs. Axel?

MELANIE

Hello!

BARBER

I’m Sandra. Sorry I’m late. The bride changed her mind at the last minute. What an emergency.

MELANIE

That must’ve been nerve-wracking.

BARBER

It was. Where’s Tony?

MELANIE

Upstairs.

BARBER

How’re the two of you doing?

JEFF

Fine.

MELANIE

Nervous.

BARBER

Of course you are. I know this is Tony’s day, as it should be, but I got the sense on the phone that the hair question was a bit contentious. Shall we take a few minutes to touch base?

JEFF

It’s not contentious. I told you what I wanted.

BARBER

I just wondered…with all due respect…I wondered if Mrs. Axel had any thoughts. On a day like this, I want everyone to be satisfied…I mean, as much as is possible. (Looks at watch.) Do we have time to chat for a few minutes?

JEFF

Tony needs to look dignified.

BARBER

Of course he does.

JEFF

We have people coming from all over! I don’t want my son looking like a hippie.

MELANIE

He doesn’t look like a hippie! His hair has always meant a lot to him. Who are we to tamper with that?

JEFF

It’s not just long. It’s dirty! He hardly ever washes it!

It’s an embarrassment!

MELANIE

He hasn’t had short hair in years. If he gets a crew cut, people won’t even recognize him.

JEFF

Yes, they will! They’ll say to themselves: Finally, the Axel boy has grown up.

MELANIE

Jeff! How can you say that? It’s so hurtful!

JEFF

I’m sorry, but I’ve always hated his hair. It’s as if he’s been sticking his finger in my eye ever since he was fourteen. And now, at twenty-eight, he’s punching me in the face!

MELANIE

Why can’t you respect him for who he is?

JEFF

I’ve tried…believe me…I’ve tried…but now…today…it’s come to a head.

                (Silence.)

BARBER

Shall I go up and handle it myself?

MELANIE

Wait! I need to talk a little more with you. For my peace of mind.

JEFF

No! Go up there! You’ll see what I’m talking about. Just make sure it’s short!

MELANIE

No!

BARBER

If you don’t mind, Mr. Axel, I’d like to give your wife a chance to talk.

JEFF

(Shrugs.)

MELANIE

You’ve done this before, right?

BARBER

Yes. Many times.

MELANIE

So you understand that the parents can have reactions…they can have feelings about the event? They want everything to go well and be in place. They don’t want any surprises.

BARBER

Of course. No one wants surprises.

MELANIE

If there’s conflict about hair, which must happen sometimes, and how do you handle that?

BARBER

Naturally, I try to respect what the client would want.

MELANIE

Yes.

BARBER

It’s his or her day, after all.

MELANIE

Of course it is.

BARBER

But if feelings are running high, for whatever reason, I try to listen. I try to see if the parents and children can reach some agreement about the details…to keep peace in the family.

MELANIE

What do you mean?

BARBER

Color and length and style…things like that.

MELANIE

What else?

JEFF

We’re wasting time, Melanie. Let Sandra go up there and do her job.

MELANIE

She is doing her job. She’s helping me. This is harder than I expected.

BARBER

It is hard.

MELANIE

Just talking with someone who has experience with this…it feels…I don’t know…it’s such a help.

BARBER

Everyone has strong feelings at a time like this. It would be odd not to have strong feelings.

MELANIE

Please…say more.

BARBER

Every situation is different, but in most cases, I take a look and then I break the head up into seven parts: the top, left side, right side, back, left sideburn area, right sideburn area, and the fringe. I like to know how much hair they want taken away from each part.

MELANIE

Seven parts…my hairdresser never talked about that.

JEFF

Take away all of it! The top, the sides, and the fringe.

MELANIE

Jeff, please!

BARBER

Mr. Axel, I don’t mean to be intrusive, and I apologize if I am, but seeing how upset your wife is, do you suppose you could try to listen to her? You don’t have to agree, but can you at least hear her out? It’s not uncommon for parents to disagree about their children’s hair.

JEFF

I don’t care about other parents!

BARBER

(Looks at Melanie.) Do you have any other questions?

MELANIE

No.

BARBER

Shall I go up myself…or shall we do this together?

JEFF

You do it.

MELANIE

No! I want to join you. Jeff, I want you to come with us.

JEFF

I don’t need to be there. I just want Sandra to cut Tony’s hair short and go.

MELANIE

Please, Jeff. This is important to me.

BARBER

Mr. Axel?

JEFF

What difference will it make if I’m there?

MELANIE

Tony is going to see us together. He’s going to know we’re a team.

JEFF

What does that matter?

MELANIE

Please. Do it for me…do it for us.

SANDRA

Well?

JEFF

All right.

BARBER

Can you show me the way?

MELANIE

Yes.

(They mime going up a set of stairs. They walk slowly to a mesh screen, stage left, and stand behind it. The light is such that we can see their gestures as they stand around a gurney or stretcher of some sort.)

BARBER

(Puts down her bag. Pause. Leans over the stretcher.) He’s handsome.

MOTHER

Yes, he is.

BARBER

He has his father’s chin.

MOTHER

Yes.

BARBER

And such beautiful hair. (To Jeff.) He has your curl pattern.

JEFF

(Suddenly bows his head and holds his face in his hands.)

BARBER

I know this isn’t easy. We’ll go slowly. Are you going to be okay?

MELANIE

Jeff, can you talk to him?

JEFF

How can I talk? He’s dead.

MELANIE

No! He can hear us! I know he can! I talked with him this morning. I asked him how he wanted his hair. Please…try.

JEFF

I don’t know what to say.

MELANIE

Say whatever comes to mind.

JEFF

What? What am I supposed to say?

MELANIE

Tell Tony you liked being his Little League coach. Tell him how proud you felt when he hit that homerun against Hayes Oil.

JEFF

(Holds face in his hands.)

MELANIE

Tell him you were a teenager yourself. Tell him you rebelled against your father and bought a motorcycle.

JEFF

(Shakes head.)

MELANIE

Tell Tony you loved him. Tell him you may have had your differences, but you loved him, no matter what.

                (Silence.)

BARBER

Shall I leave? So the three of you can talk?

MELANIE

No! I want you here!

BARBER

Are you sure?

MELANIE

Yes. Having someone who’s done this many times before…I don’t know why it helps, but it does.

BARBER

Yes…people have said that to me. (Pause.) Shall we begin?

MELANIE

Yes.

BARBER

Mr. Axel?

JEFF

(Nods.)

BARBER

I’ll do whatever the two of you want, but it does seem a shame to cut it all off. How about if I cut a little bit and we see how that looks?

MOTHER

Jeff, what do you think?

JEFF

(Nods. His hands still cover his face.)

BARBER

Let me get my clippers. (Sound of zipper opening.) Mr. Axel, could you stand on the other side of the table, raise Tony’s head, and hold it steady while I trim around the back? Could you do that for me?

JEFF

(Moves to other side of table.)

BARBER

Do you know how to hold a head?

JEFF

(Stares at the barber.)

BARBER

It’s not often that we take someone’s head in our hands. I remember holding my son’s head when he was a baby. Do you remember that…holding Tony’s infant head?

MELANIE

(Starts to cry.)

BARBER

Cup your hands around the base of Tony’s head…with your thumbs touching his ears.

JEFF

(Reaches out for Tony’s head.)

MELANIE

That’s it, Jeff.

JEFF

(Nods.)

BARBER

That’s good, Mr. Axel. Now, can you lift up an inch? (Pause.) That’s it. You’re doing a nice job. (Sound of clippers.) We’ll do the left sideburn area, then the right sideburn area, and then we’ll decide about the fringe. How does that sound? (More hair cutting sounds as the lights fade.)

END